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How to Help Kids Through a Divorce

The decision to end a marriage is never an easy one. But it is often made doubly tough when children are involved. Many parents worry that their children will have a difficult, if not impossible, job adjusting to their new family life. There are certain steps parents can take to make this transition easier for the children. As Long Island divorce attorneys, these strategies help families through this difficult time and help them build a new life together.

The most important rule parents should adhere to in a divorce is to not talk badly about one another in front of the children. Emotions are understandably running high and there may be deep pain caused by the decision to split up. But children shouldn’t be caught in the middle of it. When one parent speaks ill of the other to the children, it puts these children in an awkward position. They may feel like they have to pick one parent over the other, which can ultimately breed resentment. No matter how angry or hurt you may feel, don’t let your children see it. In fact, it could be so detrimental to a child, that Courts order parents to cease disparaging the other in front of the child.

Parents should also take steps to ensure the children that they will both be a part of their lives forever. Some children may worry that a divorce means they will no longer see one parent at all. Reassure the children that while mom and dad might now live apart, each parent will play an active role in the children’s lives. Parents should also try to create a schedule to spend time with the children, bringing structure to the children’s new lives. If parents do not work out a parenting time schedule, a Court will impose one.

If your child seems to be having an especially difficult time with this divorce, seek the help of a support group or other professionals. There are many groups for children of divorced parents. Seeing they are not alone might help children make this adjustment. A therapist or other mental health professional can also help the children with their feelings and help them develop coping mechanisms for when they feel sad or depressed. Do not hesitate to reach out for help if you feel that your children need it.

At The Law Offices of Seidner & Associates, we understand that divorce is difficult for the family. But it may ultimately be for the best. It is still possible to have a happy, healthy life with your children even when parents no longer live with one another. By keeping the focus on your children and helping them through this tough time, it may ultimately strengthen these family bonds.


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